Stupid
by Skysong
Summary: What happens when Kel falls for someone she shouldn't? Based on Sarah McLachlan's song of the same name. Oneshot, KelJoren. Rated for safety. Please read and review!


A/N: This fanfic is set during the time that Joren was picking on Kel in POTS: The First Test. Warning for pairings – Joren/Kel. Please read and review and I hope you like it!

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, nor do I own the lyrics (Sarah McLachlan – "Stupid") that have been used in this story.

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**Stupid**

_Night lift up the shades  
let in the brilliant light of morning  
_

Kel slowly opened her eyes and looked at the shutters in her room. It was just before dawn, the perfect time to do some pre-bell exercises to start her day. She groaned and rolled out of bed, opening the shutters . . . . .

_but steady there now  
for I am weak and starving for mercy_

. . . . . And clamped her eyes shut as the first bright rays of light entered the room, bringing the room and its contents sharply into focus. She turned from the bright rays and as her eyes adjusted to the light, she looked into the mirror over her washbasin. She looked into eyes that were haunted, dark rims underneath.

_sleep has left me alone  
to carry the weight of unravelling where we went wrong_

She moaned softly, remembering the night before. Remembering how she had met him in the hallways, and how she had stood up to him. Well, at least how she had tried. How she had tried to stop herself losing all sense of control into his soft eyes, how she had forced herself to keep from running her hands through his blonde hair . . . .

_it's all I can do to hang on  
to keep me from falling  
into old familiar shoes  
_

Kel straightened as she remembered the boy from the Islands. The one who had been exactly the same, who she had fallen for the same way. Her mother saved her from her stupidity by taking them from the Islands, back to the Tortallan way of life.

And then she remembered Neal, racing to her rescue just the evening before. Bringing with him others who had given Joren a sound beating, a beating for attacking their girl, the one who brightened their day. Kel remembered defending Joren . . . . . . .

_how stupid could I be_

_a simpleton could see_

Kel jumped as a knock sounded at her door. She walked to it, opened it and found Neal standing outside.

"Kel, are you alright? Gods, Kel, look at you . . . . . ."

She brushed his hand aside. "Just leave me, Neal. I'll meet you . . ."

_  
that you're no good for me_

Neal interrupted, "Kel, I know what's going on. Kel, he's no good for you, he's trying to kill you, don't you see?" . . . . . . . . .

_  
but you're the only one I see  
_

She pushed him towards the door, and as she did, Kel could see Joren walking past with his friends. She lost sight of Neal's hand flying across her face, trying to get her attention, as her eyes were lost in his, and his smile as he walked by.

"Hi . . . . ." she murmured, more to herself than to anyone else.

_  
love has made me a fool_

She watched as he walked the entire length of the hall, leaving her doorframe and tripping, nearly landing on her face. Neal grimaced and began to shake her out of her fantasy.

_  
it set me on fire and watched as I floundered_

_unable to speak  
except to cry out and wait for your answer_

Finally, Neal got her attention. He half dragged her down to the mess hall, and forced her to eat. He dragged her out to the fields and helped her curry Peachblossom and take him out. Then he was forced to leave as Lord Wyldon made them practice tilting. As he walked away from Kel, Joren came up behind her. Her face lifted, and he leaned close, whispering in her ear.

_  
but you come around in your time  
speaking of fabulous places  
create an oasis_

For a second, Neal could see Kel happy, and he took his tilt at the target. Kel followed soon after, and only just made it past the swinging bag that collected the pages if they didn't hit the target correctly. And then her face was drawn again.

_  
dries up as soon as you're gone  
you leave me here burning  
in this desert without you  
_

Kel briefly noticed Neal, staring at her strangely, and realised that once again she had allowed Joren to get to her. She forced a grin in his direction and moved to take another tilt. Kel shook her head to force thoughts of him out.

_  
how stupid could I be_

He had made her promises, of glamour and glory. And he had loved her, had the blonde haired prince. But he was not always there . . . . Kel again frowned.

_  
a simpleton could see  
that you're no good for me_

Neal came up behind her, scaring her out of her reverie.

"Kel, you've got to focus. The Stump's watching you! Quick, go now!"

Kel turned to look at Lord Wyldon, but only made it halfway around the practice fields before once again she came into eye contact with Joren.

_  
but you're the only one I see  
_

She urged Peachblossom to race at the target, with thoughts of his soft blonde hair and his promises fresh in her mind. It was all going to be alright, and Neal would see. She thundered past the target, barely scraping the edge, and she grimaced, expecting the sharp smack on her back . . . . .

_  
everything changes_

The smack came. Kel felt herself flying through the air and landed heavily onto the ground with an ear splitting crack. As she cracked, Neal turned and saw her lying on the ground. His heart leapt into his mouth . . . .

_  
everything falls apart_

She could feel herself breaking, but was so totally consumed by his smile, by his soft hair, by his words whispering into her ears. She closed her eyes and a black darkness surrounded her. Neal jumped off his horse and raced towards her . . . . . .

_  
can't stop to feel myself losing control  
but deep in my senses I know  
_

Kel frowned. Something was not right. She was hurting, that she knew, but not the sharp hurt it should have been, and she could not see. Kel began to panic. And then someone was shaking her, willing her to come back, and instinctively she knew that it was him.

_  
how stupid could I be_

Neal knelt by her side and started calling her name as they'd been shown in class and by his father. His heart began to race in earnest . . . . . What had that Joren done to her?

_  
a simpleton could see_

Kel opened her eyes slowly, allowing time to focus. She could feel an intense calm inside, like she did when he was around. Her instinct told her that it was him there, that finally he was there for her . . . .

_  
that you're no good for me_

She opened her eyes and suddenly the feeling was gone and for the briefest second she wondered.

"What have I done?" she murmured to herself.

But then she looked around and saw Neal standing over her, her friends, Lord Wyldon. The feeling returned as she looked again and saw the familiar blonde hair that was so soft, the equally soft, moisturised skin of his hand reaching out to her . . . . . .

_  
but you're the only one I see_

"Gotcha," whispered the blonde haired boy as he slowly lifted his hand to wave goodbye to the girl who had ruined his life. And now he had ruined hers.

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A/N: So this was a little different, but I'd love to hear what you've got to say, so please hit that little button at the bottom, it says 'review'! Until next time, folks!

Skysong


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